Wouldn't it be a lovely headline...

mmm new blog take 2

2010-01-04T17:41:00.001-08:00

http://athenawrites.wordpress.com/

new look

2007-10-30T00:08:00.000-07:00

new blog.

kindofwonderful.wordpress.com

which way to go?

2007-10-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

I realize that I've had a hard time blogging lately because I havn't made up my mind if I care about who reads my blog or if I don't.

A lot of time I want to write something, but I am afraid that what I will write will be too vulnerable or honest for those who are reading. If it was just strangers I wouldn't care...but since most people who read this blog are people who know me, I feel like I have to edit out some things I want to say, and then since I have to edit, it makes me not want to write at all.

So I've decided to write on here whatever I want. Sometimes it may be some things that you will think to yourself "You should have just kept that in your journal hannah" or "I can't believe she just said that"...but as we all know when writing sometimes things are exaggerated or emotions are elevated and since I can't seem to write when I'm not just giving it my all, I'd rather write than not at all.
Does that make sense?

So get ready for a new type of blog.

i took a picture.again.

2007-08-24T15:15:00.002-07:00

this is me blowing my new camera a kiss...and a pic of the yummy muffins mum has made fresh for me EVERY morning since i've been here. mmmm. muffins....

i love home...

2007-08-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of the river by my house in the winter...its beautiful. I have really grown to have an appreciation for my hometown over all these years. I remember when I couldn't wait to get out of here, but now, leaving is sweet sorrow. I know when I left here it was good for me, I needed space, healing, vision, care and new life. But now that lots of that has taken place, when I come back I feel like I really mourn for all those years lost with my family. My family is definitely a family of survivors. We did not have it easy. I am in no way saying we had it harder than most, I know lots of family's go through tragic and awful things, I know I am blessed to have the family I have, to have grown up the way I did, but nevertheless, there was a lot of pain, confusion, anger and stress growing up. Things arn't all better. But they have calmed down, and when I am here at my home, sitting in my sister's room looking at clothes and talking about sister things I am so happy to be there, in that moment, with her and so sad at the same time that these moments are far to short and far between. I think of moving back here but then the question always comes to mind...What would I even do? What is here that would challenge me, where would I work, who would be my faith community?
I've always wanted to work with the church in some aspect, I mean, I have for years with YWAM...am I crazy to think I'd want to be a youth pastor? Yeah. I think I am.

It feels good to post. I need to do this more often. Ok so I feel like a little kid right now because I am sitting by the window looking up every 3 seconds waiting for a big truck to pull into my driveway. DHL. International delivery. The woman told me he'd be at my house within the hour, with my NEW CAMERA.I can't wait to hold it and learn it and take beautiful pictures and put them up here..yayayayyayay

ooxxo love you!
Hann

i like beer.

2007-08-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

but i sure am glad i don't have to open it like this!

GOD IS GOOOOOOD....

2007-08-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

SO I AM FREAKING EXCITED ... ELATED....AMAZED...

BECAUSE I NOW. OWN... yes I Hannah Christina Grant.... OWN.... A Canon Digital Rebel XTI with 4 amazing lenses, a wonderful deal...and its my first real camera and I am SOO STOKED.
Thank you Jesus, thank you JESUS THANK YOU JESUS!

writer's block.

2007-08-10T12:04:00.000-07:00

I have been having writer's block. I so badly want to blog, but I have no idea what about. Nothing exciting has really been going on in my life, there are some new things which I don't want to share with the world yet...and generally...I am doing well.

I've decided to take out a loan to buy the camera that I so badly want. If I'm diligent and save, I should have it all payed off withing 6 months. Not that bad.

See already I'm reading this and thinking about how boring it all sounds. blah. I'll come back later.

Alberta, Alberta

2007-07-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

Last night it rained so heavily, and there has been 2 nights of magnificent lightening storms. Something about the power of them makes me feel so small and vulnerable, yet so fascinated and in awe.

I read my Bible the past two nights, and this morning. It feels good to do that, even though most of the time I pick it up, I am so unsure of where to even start.

This next month will be an interesting season for me. I want to make healthy choices, but I am heartbroken. When I look back at this past year sometimes I am surprised I made it out alive. I did some pretty stupid things. I grew a lot. Some days I looked pain in the face, and others I ran from him and his mighty claws. I can tell you though, in my experience, not dealing with the pain doesn't make him stop following you. Some days I feel like I am dealing with the sadness/pain that could have been dealt with months ago if I hadn't have ran away and numbed myself with others.

I am currently terrified of my flesh, old dirty habbits and old clutches of sin that I really don't want to make their way back into my life. Not because I want to be all holy and good...which I do want...but more scared because I know how destructive that path can be, and I really don't want to end up there again. I guess the fact that I am even scared about that is a good thing.

I have not been the best Hannah I know that I can be. I'm not sure if I'd be honest if I said I had been trying either. All I know is that I am really thirsty for God, change, revelation and inspiration.

today, i walked in the rain.

2007-07-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

I woke up and wished that I was dead, with an aching in my head.
I lay motionless in bed.
I thought of you, and where you'd gone.

Let the world spin madly on.

And everything that I'd said I'd do, like make the world brand new and take the time for you.
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn.

And the world spins madly on.

Let the day go by. Always say goodbye.
I watched the stars from my window sill, the whole world is moving and I'm standing still.

**I woke up and wished that I was dead with an aching in my head. I lay motionless in bed, the night is here, the day is gone and the world spins madly on.

I thought of you and where you'd gone.
And the world spins madly on.
And the world spins madly on.

you turned me into somebody loved.

i miss you already.

2007-07-18T11:16:00.003-07:00

ahhh

2007-07-12T02:09:00.001-07:00

its 2am.
and i still can't sleep...because it was so bloody hot out today, and still hasn't cooled down. AUGH. I hate being sweaty all day. I want to go to the beach so bad, but no one can ever come with me when I actually have time off......dang.

On a happy note, tonight, I did public karaoke for the first time ever....amazing yes. I know.

ah my weird sense of humour...i love will ferrell!

2007-07-11T10:38:00.001-07:00

The Landlord

Hulk Hogan has a headlock on Dolly Parton's heart...

2007-07-09T09:39:00.001-07:00

This is so weird. Was this REALLY her music video??

50 things about me...because I can put whatever on my blog I want.

2007-06-27T14:47:00.000-07:00

FIRST NAME? Hannah
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Hannah, from the Bible.
WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Last night, someone mentioned the name of a person i consider a mentor and for some reason it just made me cry cuz i wish i could talk to them.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I do...sometimes
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Turkey
KIDS? ahh i'm so glad i don't have any right now in life. i love them. but not me, not now.
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I'm not sure, sometimes I suck with follow through, but I generally do really love and cherish the people I am friends with.
DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes. but its pages have been lonely lately.
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Not very much, but occasionally--especially if I am conversing with people who "get it."
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Nope, i'd prefer to skydive.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Oh's or Vector.
DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not usually.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? No. I think I have a few strengths, but they certainly aren't physical.
RED OR PINK? Red.
WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My flesh...spiritually speaking.
WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST? promises that weren't meant to be broken but are, dead dreams, good hugs & of course, above all else, my family.
WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I"m wearing jean skirt actually, and no shoes. I'm Canadian, and I'm inside. therefore, shoes OFF.
LAST THING YOU ATE? Breakfast from Bon's for $2.95 amazing and awfull all at the same time.
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The silence, its nice.
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Blue.
FAVORITE SMELL? The rain, clean sheets, my mother, cooking & baking smells, and strangely enough...gasoline. hahahah its funny because I'm not even joking.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mieke...I hate typing her name...its pronounced mee-ka. But she spells it the dutch way.
THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? The way they carry themselves; posture, smile and overall demeaner.
DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? It wasn't sent to me, I stole it from Jo, but yes I like her, as much as you can like someone you havn't actually met.
FAVORITE DRINK? Limenotta.
FAVORITE SPORT? Hockey...Dance...UFC
EYE COLOR? Sort of swamp coloured. blue or green.
HAT SIZE? average. to large.
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? nope
FAVORITE FOOD? how can this even be a question?? Ok I like anything Wade makes me, I love Asian & African & South American & Middle Eastern food. hahaha I love spice. I love vegetables, I'd have to say that I'd lean more towards a vegetarian diet then a meat lovers diet...although I do enjoy chicken and steak quite a bit.
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? umm happy endings. even though its so unrealistic.
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIES? Ocean's 13
ARE YOU A DREAMER? Ohhhhhh yes yes Yes.
HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs & kisses too... just ones that arn't on the lips.
FAVORITE DESSERT? anything chocolate...or apple pie. ohh or sex in a pan. OHH NO. wait. carrot cake. ahh nevermind i can't pick just one.
WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU FREQUENTED A LIBRARY? A few months ago.
DID YOU VOTE IN THE PRIMARY ELECTIONS? Yes.
WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? I think I'm about half way through about 3 books... A million little pieces, The Irrisistable Revolution and ... I can't remember the 3rd one. But trust me, all these will be dropped like a dirty habbit the SECOND Harry Potter 7 comes out in stores and into my little hands...ahh soo excited.
WHAT'S ONE OF YOUR PET PEEVES? Brown-nosing and kissing-up to authority figures, especially in religious or educational environments. People who don't walk what they talk, messy eaters and manipulation.
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I didn't watch TV...I barely do. Last night I babysatt two cute kids, then went out for $2 beer at bon's. Then went long boarding, then went on a zip line and THEN...on the swings. I have bruises this morning.
FAVORITE SOUNDS? Babies laughing, The sound of the plane landing, When tea is being poured, rain on the roof, my mum's bangels on her arm jingling...
ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.
THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Nepal.
WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I don't know if i have one. I'm pretty average.
WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? September 4th, 1984 in Ontario
IN A PREVIOUS LIFE, WHAT WERE YOU? Lucy in Narnia.

F YOU HAD TO CHANGE YOUR NAME, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Zoe

god is bigger than the boogie man.

2007-06-26T12:10:00.001-07:00

So I realized lately that I have this melancholy part to my soul. But on the flip side I love to laugh and experience joy, passion, good company, wine, dreams and love.
I also realized that it is easy for me to get in a 'funk'. Sort of just go through my day without really experiencing, or looking for, the blessings and such that God puts in my path.
This may seem like a vain story, but it just really reminded me that God cares about the small things too. So my cell phone, broke. Which basically, if I don't have, no one will ever get a hold of me. And I really really really didn't want to sign into another 2 or 3 year contract with a phone company, which is usually what you have to do to get a new phone that won't cost you up your wazoo.
So I had been looking on the internet, scooping prices of people selling their cell phones and trying to find a good deal. Not only did I find a good deal, I found a GREAT deal. This guy bought this cell phone for his g/f and she didn't like it, so he sold it to me for about 1/2 the price he payed for it, and its BRAND NEW. like totally brand new. hallujah.
(I don't know how to spell hallejuah, hallejah) whatever.

anyways. it was a small, vain thing that made me really happy.

So go ahead, take a bite of my chocolate.

2007-06-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

I really wish i could. See the bigger picture that is. Lately I feel so caught up with every little stress, decision, question and day. Its overwhelming and I don't really know how to cope. Leaving YWAM has been a harder and weirder transition than I could ever have expected. I mean, I'm still living with a bunch of ywamer's, even in the same city still, but the space and change that has taken place is already so big I feel like I've been done for months and months. Its definitely weird. It's weird trying to translate the last 4 years of my life into this new season I am in....the "working" season. Where I am just out in the world. With the so called "heathens." Being salt is not as easy as I thought it would be. I find I am battling off all sorts of lies that seem to be hovering over my head these days. Feeling like a failure. What do I have to show for the past 4 years of my life. blah blah blah.

There's so many things I want to do, so many directions and possibilites....which is why I wish i could see the bigger picture. Just a glimpse...so I can forget about the little things that just don't need to be worried about.
Wow I just realized, I think I stress more than I dream these days. That sucks. I need to change that.

cloudy day, cloudy brain.

2007-06-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

I've been melancholy the past few days. I'm not totally sure why, I'm sure if I took time to actually listen, maybe journal or pray it would all come spilling out. But for some reason I'm procrastinating that. Its weird. I work and work and work and by the time I have a moment to myself I just really want to do something brainless.

So, for those of you who don't know...last week on friday was my last day with YWAM. I had been thinking of leaving since I came back from a mobile tour in February, but a lot of fears where attatched with leaving. YWAM is all i know. But I could feel it was time, at least, for the place I was in and the base I was at, I didn't feel like I was really doing much anymore. So my last meeting went okay. just fine.

Like I said, I'm working all summer. Then for the fall I'm getting into photography school. It feels right, and its one of the few things that I seem to be really excited and passionate about these days. I can't wait to learn and create...and oh man, what a great outlet. I'm hoping photography will be a foundation for me to maybe someday become a speaker...to use photos as an avenue to awaken people to want to be more active in justice issues...to tell stories...and show beauty that most people wouldn't get to see with their own two eyes.

Ok well back to gilmore girls! (going through all the seasons on dvd) muh ahahhaha i'm bad.

i want too.

2007-05-30T17:43:00.000-07:00

I want to blog. I really do. But i feel like everything I want to say I can't say on here yet, because there are people that, if they read it on my blog first, might be offended that I didn't tell them personally. Just so ya know...I havn't forgotten about all you who are asking me why my posts are so few and far between.

Also, the weather has been nicer and i must admit. I am getting a freaking sweet tan.

anyways. I'll be back...soon. sooner than later. promise.

shoes

2007-05-26T11:47:00.001-07:00

So I loved this, its super weird but well put together and haha, I'm not quite sure why I thought it was so funny, but it just did.

Ah a new post.

2007-05-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

I've been reading blogs avidly lately and really have wanted to get into mine more since over the past month its been totally dropped. I just couldn't find the gusto.
I have been working soooo much lately. Between YWAM & the restaurant that I work at, augh. I'm dead tired. Since that is all I have been doing, this post that I am making is going to be all about

"the worst night at work ever"

So I started work at the restaurant in the afternoon. It was me (I am the assistant manager by the way!) and I was training a new girl. Now usually this particular restaurant is not that busy, just more slow and steady. Tonight my friend, was a different story. We have 20 tables in the whole place, all the sudden they just seemed to fill all up. All at once. Not that big of a deal, stressful, and chaotic yes, but funnily enough I usually like that feeling and quite enjoy running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
But training someone while its like THAT is so hard. She would take so long at the computer to send an order through, or just not use common sense, not clear off her tables fast enough, yadda yadda yadda. I know I know, your probably thinking. Hannah have more patience. She's new! But actually this was like her 4th shift.And I was too busy myself to babysit her every move. It made things way more frustrating.

Then this happened.

She spilled ice cubes on the floor. and forgot to wipe them up. Then comes me, carrying a tray with 3 glasses of water, 3 glasses of pop, an 2 beer. I slip, fell on my ass, and all the drinks poured down the entire front of my body. My ass hurt, I was sticky, soaking wet, embarressed, and didn't even have time to go to the bathroom to clean up. I had tables that needed immediate attending too but I knew that at that moment I needed some comic relief or else I'd just start crying. So i went back to the kitchen and the cooks laughed and pointed at me, then I asked them...

"What would you like to hear? Spice up your life, or MMM bop"

They chose Spice Up Your Life. (By the Spice Girls) of course. So I danced and sang, in my sticky mess, in the kitchen, just so I could have a moment to chill out.
Then I ran to help some tables, then ran back to the bathroom, and the oldest one in the book happened to me. I was wearing a skirt you see, a really pretty cute skirt I might add, and after I was finished I didn't realize I had sorta tucked in the bottom back of my skirt into my underwear.

A customer was the one who told me that my panties were showing.

Augh what a night! Finally to top it all off, at the very end the dishwasher threw my generous tip-out that I gave her at my face and told me it was an insult. (I guess she felt she deserved more, but that night my tips had been low, and I actually had tipped out to the kitchen more than what was required of me.) I just started bawling. Like a baby. Sat on the floor and cried. Grabbed 2 beer and drank them. I was sticky. My legs hurt. My feet hurt. My wrists were sore from carrying plates. My finger was burnt. My elbow was scrapped. AUGH.

Then the best thing happened.

My favorite cook to work with, Reuben, (He's from England) sat down, plugged in the jukebox which were not supposed to play, played some songs, drank beer with me, and we smoked right there, on the floor of the restaurant. He was so nice, let me act like a crazy woman (by that i mean cry and laugh at the same time) and just helped me to chill out. It was a beautiful thing.

Now I have to go back to work tonight. Hopefully it isn't such a crazy time. I'm tired!

Holy Cow

2007-05-04T00:43:00.000-07:00

HOLY COW.

I KNOW.

I'M AWFUL.

I have been the worst blogger ever.
But please. Read my list of excuses.

List of Excuses.
1) I just moved
2) I am working like a maniac.
3) I still havn't unpacked.
4) I went to Calgary for week
5) When I wanted to blog a few days ago, my laptop was dead and I couldn't find the charger.
6) work. work. work.
7) I just moved, with 7 other people.
8) Its been nice out, which means I don't want to be inside.
9) I have an addiction to Facebook. It eats up all my internet time.
10) I've been emotional.

So there you have it folks.
My Excuses.

my friend weasly

2007-04-26T21:39:00.000-07:00

So I was going to give you an update on Calgary.

but I don't feel like it.

So instead, I am going to write about what is on my mind.
My friend Weasly aka. Sophia.

Sophia is the most amazing, bright, fun, sharp, beautiful little 2 year old girl I know. I love that I have been around her since she was born. I love that she knows my name, and even gave me my own nickname (Buzz).
I love how she sees the world in vibrant colours.
Her imagination blows me out of the water.
Being around her awakens a part of me to dream. play. inspire. love.
I have become so attached to her that I genuinely miss her when I don't see her for awhile.
Today was so good, when I walked into her house to pick her up for the morning,
I was greeted with...
a huge hug.
The kind only little kids can give you where you feel like your the coolest person in the world because this little kid actually wanted to stop running around like a crazy person for a second to give you a huge hug and rest their head on your shoulder.
ah I love those hugs.

So here's to Sophia!!

***Its hard to believe that she now has a new sister that is already stealing just as much of my heart!

calgary...a sneak peak

2007-04-25T23:58:00.000-07:00

oh my stinking bad blogging

2007-04-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I'm going to Calgary (never been there!) for a week to see some old friends. So I probably won't be back to the blogging world till next tuesday....sorry friends....I'll update soon.

xoxo
hann

Alanis Morissette

2007-04-12T12:20:00.001-07:00

I'm sure most of you have heard the annoying and badly written, but catchy song "my humps" by Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. It was on the top of the MTV music charts for weeks, its what the youngsters listen too.

Well Alanis has outdone herself. She remade the music video Alanis style. I laughed so hard watching this...I respect Alanis more than ever, and just hearing the song sang to a slow tempo made me realize even more how awful the lyrics are, and can people seriously get rich off writing music like this?? jeez!
Enjoy!

i am a bad bad little blogger.

2007-04-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hey friends.

sorry i've been sucking. Things have been a whirlpool but starting right now I am back on the blog band wagon...
Here's a few things in point form to catch you up.

1) I got the new Modest Mouse CD > SOOOO GOOD.
2) My hair stylist gave me a free hair cut and highlights. God DOES love me!
3) I started a belly dancing class. yes its true. and its fun. It will definitely be receiving its own post soon.
4) I finally found an apartment! (I have been looking for a few months, and Vancouver is not an easy place to look for one, because of how pricey things can be, throw Olympics into the mix and you got yourself a gong show.) The Apartment is great. yes it is. The fact that I will be living with 5 other girls (All YWAM girls) will be interesting and my introverted side may want to committ suicide but I love the girls...and I'm sure it will be alright.
5) I leave for Calgary on Tuesday for a week vacation. I've never been there. I"m excited.
6) I got asked to lead the intercession for Mission Adventures this summer and I'm super stoked about that.
7) I am still thinking a lot about photography and when I should start plugging into that full time.

So theres a few little bullet points so you feel like you still know me.

xoxox
hannah

Mad World- Gary Jules

2007-04-04T13:23:00.001-07:00

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad World
Enlarge your world
Mad World

i heart continental

2007-04-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

Continental Coffee.

Its become such a big part of my every day life over the past while. I knew about it when I first moved here to Vancouver, because they have chocolate whip cream for your mocha's. But I never got here that much because our YWAM base was about 13 blocks away from it. Now that our base has moved and we are only 2 blocks away, I think I am here every day basically.
They have killer soy milk latte's. I mean, You really can't screw up a latte unless you are some sort of coffee hater...but these ones are extra good.
Not only do they make killer soy milk latte's,
but they know my name.
"Continental Coffee, Where Everyone Knows Your Name"
I am beginning to be friends with the workers, and even some of the regular customers. Lots of this is due to Ryan, a fellow YWAM'er who took a part time job here.

So I'm sitting in here, by the window, looking out into the wonderful street I call home. Commercial Drive. Straight ahead of me are snow capped mountains, I even walked backwards to work today for 2 blocks just so I could stare at them. The sky is blue, barely a cloud in the sky, and I am so happy to be alive.
Technically I should be working on a newsletter, which I came here to do. But I just feel really overwhelmed with my love for this latte, this coffee shop, this street, my friends, the mountains, the beautiful sky, my family and most of all, the most magnificent of all, God.

Here are some pictures, maybe taking pictures with my laptop is kinda creepy, and other people probably looked at me weird...but I don't really care!

here it is!

2007-04-02T08:05:00.000-07:00

My very first tattoo...

sorry.

2007-04-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the absence. I know it's so lame.
I will be better at posting within the next few days. The last few ones have been pretty intense.

So just to keep you informed here is what is new in my life!

- I got promoted at my second job to Assistant Manager. whoo hoo.
- I got a tattoo. I'm not sure if I regret it or not, it was slightly random. I thought about it and 3 days later its on my neck. well. not really neck neck, more like behind the ear next to hairline neck. I'll post a picture once it is healed.
- I have been doing well cutting back on the smoking. I only had 3 yesterday. (that is really good for me)
- I finally got the book everyone has been talking about, which I feel skeptical if I will like or not, but nevertheless, I want to read it. "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Clairborne.

Ok I promise my this blog will no longer be as boring soon. just keep hanging in there!

sigh.

2007-03-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

Today was a bad day.
I just feel so subdued, kinda sad, anxious, bewildered and confused.

I did however manage to do the laundry that has been pilling up in my closet and growing into a talking mountain that says things like "wash me wash me, i'm so dirty and i will soon come alive and take over your room."
So that was good.

I needed a pick me up. I decided to go to the hairdresser's just to get my hair washed and blowed dry. Relaxing and made me feel pretty. Yesterday I got my eyebrows threaded. Its the asian way of doing it, I was pretty scared since the girl who was performing the procedure did not speak English very well. Halfway through I was wondering if she would leave me ANY eyebrows at all, but at the end I was a satisified customer and she did a great job. And the whole thing only cost $7. Yay cheap!

I'm in a funk and not sure how to get out. I keep wishing that random people would just come up to me and hug me for a very long time.

I have been trying to think of things I am thankfull for and I thought about how lately I have had the amazing priviledge to watch little baby Eleanor, my fabulous friends Wade & Joanna's new baby girl. She basically just sleeps on my chest while I get to kiss her head and adore her. Its so nice having such a little cute thing snuggle up to you and rest in your arms. It made me wish I was that small and could fall asleep on in someone's arms. It looks so comfortable and safe.

sherry, sherry baby.

2007-03-26T21:09:00.000-07:00

For those of you who do not yet know,
I have taken a part-time job at a 50's style diner that serves all French Canadian food. I took it because my tax bill from last year is still screaming at me, and so are a few other debts that I have so awfully accumulated. Then the hope is that once I have payed off all those debts, I can save the extra money to buy an amazing Canon digital SLR camera. Well see.
So far the job hasn't conflicted with my YWAM work so its perfect. The location of the diner is great too, just a few blocks from where I live and where the YWAM base is located. On the most amazing street in Vancouver, Commercial Drive. (home of over 35 coffee shops and over 25 ethnic restaurants)

I have been having a great time working there, its a cool way for me to interact with people and I realize that I love serving, AND I'm good at it. The owner is straight from Quebec and is a crazy man but I like him. And he likes me. They have already offered me a promotion. Its also been good for me because its keeping me a little extra busy, which is nice, takes my mind off the inevitable sadness that follows the 'break-up'.

Here's a picture of me in my uniform, with my wonderful friend Jenna who surprised me at work one day! And yes, those ARE purple leg warmers. Amazing, I know.

hmm

2007-03-22T21:54:00.000-07:00

so my last post "i love life"
was more to remind myself. That I am happy to be alive. and living. and breathing.

Today was a weird day, but good.
God has been all over me, and blessing me and I just know that the peace that I have in my heart can only come from Him. I have been feeling closer to God than I have in months. More alive. Even though I just went through one of the toughest break-up's I have ever gone through. Weird. I wake up and the Bible has been feeding me in a new way. God speaking words over me that are EXACTLY what I need for the day.
Which is amazing.
Because this is definitely not a cheery situation that I find myself in.

My friend Angela challenged me a few days ago to make a 5 year plan. I hate making plans but its been good for me to think of a purpose for which I am striving for. To make a plan that is so big, so full of huge dreams, that I can't even think with my measly little human mind how it would ever come to be. Its been making me think a lot about my goal to be overseas full time. To take photography. Maybe do a little bit of schooling. To impact youth, to be radical, to learn, grow, invest in people, smile when I walk down the street, read the Bible more, to have eyes to see and ears to hear what the Kingdom is doing in my community.

Its been fun dreaming at night...and going through season 1 of Gilmore Girls. Hey, this girl needs a little lighthearted television right now ok?

Here's a random picture of me just in case you forgot what I looked like. I have no idea what this facial expression is nor will I try and define it. It just is!

i love life.

2007-03-21T22:18:00.001-07:00

whoa

2007-03-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

I think I knew this time would come,
I did try really hard to fight it
Which doesn't make it make it any easier.
Walking away, saying goodbye.
Watching as my safety net is taken off.
Years of friendship, laughs, love, expectations, secrets and talks.
SO much investment.
And it all ends. Just like that.
Now I'm just sitting here, all these photos, all my journals, every coffee shop, movie theatre and city corner...
holding its own specific memory.

God, am I ever glad that you exist.
And that you are active.
And sinking over me like the weight of bricks.

Girl Arise!

2007-03-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

Poem and painting done by David Hayward. When I read this, blow my mind wow, this is so 'sorta' where I am at. I felt like it was done for me, like...this is totally the best representation of how I feel at times, when I lay naked before my King.

smoking

2007-03-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

I have been smoking too much lately. I hate it, because I can almost feel myself aging and becoming a wrinkly old yucky woman who talks like a man. Once I even saw the blueness of the smoke and I was just like "oh man hannah, that is so nasty" but yet I keep doing it. I always thought I wasn't that bad because I have never been addicted. Its more like, I smoke a few packs here and there, don't smoke for a few months, then smoke on weekends and yadda yadda yadda. Anyways. I have definitely seen a link to my smoking and times of high stress or boredom. Lately it has been the high stress factor I think that has led me to buy my first pack of the year. (For a few weeks I had been bumming off friends)
The other day I was overtaken by so much pain and heartache, that I physically didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know how to cope. The lesser of all the evils was go sit at a coffee shop and smoke my brains out. I think I smoked about 5 cigs in that one sitting. Augh. Did that ever feel nasty.
But yet, so good at the same time.
My new goal is, to not smoke a cigarette for an entire year. Just picking the starting day has been hard. Especially lately.

This was a weird post. There you have it. I am weird.

i can't believe i am really him...

2007-03-15T23:11:00.000-07:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern		90%
Wonder Woman		83%
The Flash		65%
Superman		65%
Robin		63%
Supergirl		63%
Iron Man		60%
Catwoman		60%
Batman		50%
Hulk		45%
Spider-Man		35%

Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

tell me it gets better.

2007-03-14T22:13:00.000-07:00

When your 30, does it get better?

Do you stop:

asking the questions: who is God? what am I supposed to do for Him? If I think I sorta got a glimpse of an idea, what do I even do with that? what is love? who do I love? when do I know I can commit? whats the difference between in love, and love? who tells us these things? how can I trust they are right, or on crack? where is my next paycheck coming from? when will I get out of debt? how do I make a difference in the world? how do I deal with pain without letting it consume me? what am I doing with my life? am I making the right decisions? are my parents proud of me? am I growing at all? how do I do my taxes?

Even if you don't stop asking these questions, do they at least seem not so huge and scary? Do you end up sort of like, feeling a bit more peace or something?

like i mean. my brain, my poor head. So many things are thrown at me all at once and I so badly want to make God proud, do what gives me life and what is best for my future.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY ISN'T THERE A HAND BOOK TO BEING 22?????????

the aroma of jesus.

2007-03-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

Last night, after working so hard for about 10 hours, I was asked to go out for a few beers with some friends, and their friends whom I didn't know.

I was all over that like a kid on candy.

I had had such a crazy, busy day and the thought of sitting in a fun pub with enjoyable company and a precious beer was making me feel a bit more upbeat. So I went, I met new people, and really felt like it was not your typical "I don't know you but yet we will talk so its not awkward" kind of conversation. It was a real, amazing connection conversation. I got the chance to be real about my faith and the little things I believe about life. I got the chance to listen to people's stories and hear their pain and happiness. I walked away feeling so blessed that I had gotten to meet such extraordinary humans. Real human-y humans. None of that fake crap.

Last night was a direct application of what I had been thinking about in the morning. I was reading out of Acts when Peter and Paul were taking before the council for healing some dude. And the religious people were mad and there was this big argument and then someone said "I recognize them as those dude's who were with Jesus." And something about that sentence just made me think, will people recognize me as someone who has been with Jesus? Do I have His fragrance all over me? I hope I do. I want it, I want it to constantly linger on me. The sweetest aroma of all.

"Heart shattered lives ready for love, never for a moment escape God's notice" - Psalm 51

i like cartoons.

2007-03-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

I found these at xkcd.com and just picked the ones that i liked the most.

I didn't just see this....

2007-03-13T00:32:00.000-07:00

So I have a myspace account. Ok I admitted it.

And there was an add. ya know, like sitting there on my myspace home page and it looked something like this:

"Should Britney Spears have her kids taken away?"
Click YES or NO.

*Answer and get a free $500 Zellers gift card!*

Wow, talk about feeling sick. I mean. Did I really just see that? Who does that? A free $500 Zeller's card? Little Britney, she's just as confused as any other 20 something girl I know. Only her crap is more out in the open. Which probably, in retrospect, is healthier than having it in your closet. Actually, I'm convinced its better.

a little blog props

2007-03-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

So I have a pretend friend. Like I met him once, and I'm sure he probably doesn't remember it. But we have a lot of mutual friends, and because I hear so much about him, and read his blog...I consider us to be friends that go way back, but really I am just a huge internet creeper.

Anyways, lately his blog has been making my daily rounds and I just wanted to share him with you, so that you can be his pretend friend too. Unless of course, you are his real real friend. Then you already know that he is pretty insightful, and an amazing photographer!

get a load of corey hau!

i'm not sure if i like cats.

2007-03-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Krista's cat. I met him at her house in Lacombe, Alberta. He was pretty nice, my favorite time with him was when I had a mirror in my hand which was relfecting off light. He would chase the light dot thingy around the room for so long. Jumping at walls, crouching down to be able to "pounce" on the light. It was pretty amusing. Maybe more for me than for him. Anyways. Point of story. Sometimes I like cats. But usually I don't. Especially outdoor cats.

dancedancedance

2007-03-10T00:18:00.000-08:00

So last night I was sitting here on my beautiful oh beautiful macbook, making a new play list on my i-tunes called "dance dance" and I thought to myself...

'self, what songs make you want to get up and dance?'

Then I realized, I want to know what songs make YOU want to get up and dance! Then I can have a really great play list and maybe learn a bit about you, my oh so faithful readers.

So if you had to pick 3 songs, what ones would for sure make you...

GET UP OFF YOUR BUTT AND DANCE?

i love this.

2007-03-09T11:09:00.000-08:00

So I was pointed to a new website...

and i love it!

You know all the product(red) stuff that a collaboration of celebrities are a part of, and other company's like The Gap & Apple? Well I always thought it was a good idea in essence, but when it came down to it, jacking up the price 30% and then only giving 10% to the cause seemed a little too much like a marketing scheme.

Then I found this....

BUY LESS CRAP!

ohh vancouver.

2007-03-07T14:23:00.000-08:00

My friend Ryan brought my attention to this:

Call out to THE PARTY PEOPLE young and old, in and around Vancouver.
VANCOUVER PILLOW FIGHT
Date & Time: March 24th at 3:00 PM end at 3:15 PM
Location: T- Art Gallery South Side (Robson Steps) Same as last year!!! and Next Year.
Don't boff anyone who is not armed with a pillow. Use common sense and be compassionate.
The Rules are: Look inconspicuous (For effect don't draw attention to yourself) Hide your Pillow so it's not visible (preferably feather) Do not congregate in the location try to be generally around it. *It will be really weird when "Out of Nowhere" all these people start to Pillow Fight.* 1: At exactly 3pm Pillows OUT!!! And descend onto Robson Square.
ONLY Pillow fight those with Pillows. DO NOT hit bystanders or cameras unless invited.

Wow. What a funny city. Sometimes its reasons like this that remind me why Vancouver stands out. Why I love it so. Not that I need much convincing anyways. I just wish that my family would move out here.

a movie...

2007-03-05T22:27:00.000-08:00

Tonight I saw a movie.
"The Science of Sleep"

it was...

weird to say the least. Very artistic. I kinda thought maybe I should have done drugs before I saw it. But obviously I didn't, I dunno, if you like movies like "The Royal Tennanbaums" or "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" then you may enjoy this one.

Today I cheated on my lent and ate a bite of cake. and a bite of a cookie.

2007-03-05T18:16:00.001-08:00

blind faith.

2007-03-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

We all strive to have blind faith. The kind of faith that doesn't make you hesitate, stumble, fidget, ponder, second-guess, take a second glance, get anxious...you know what I mean. I don't think I know a single human who doesn't experience some of these things. I think its normal for faith to go up and down and all around. But after reading this article, I realized that this 'blind faith' is one that I would never want.

"The United States is the most religious nation in the developed world, if religiosity is measured by belief in all things supernatural -- from God and the Virgin Birth to the humbler workings of angels and demons. Americans are also the most religiously ignorant people in the Western world. Fewer than half of us can identify Genesis as the first book of the Bible, and only one third know that Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount.
Approximately 75 percent of adults, mistakenly believe the Bible teaches that "God helps those who help themselves." More than 10 percent think that Noah's wife was Joan of Arc. Only half can name even one of the four Gospels, and -- a finding that will surprise many -- evangelical Christians are only slightly more knowledgeable than their non-evangelical counterparts."

- The Washington Post

So sad. Kinda suprising. I mean, I know that we arn't the greatest at knowing a lot about our religion...but this does seem a little far fetched to me as well.

***I know that this is a very generalized statement and I in no way think that ALL Americans are like this. Actually, usually when I see the term "American" my mind sorta clumps Canadians in with them too.

meet the world.

2007-03-03T09:03:00.000-08:00

click.

sorry.

2007-03-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

Sorry I havn't blogged in awhile! I've been awful. Everyday I would stare at my computer screen and think "do it. just do it" but then I run away and go drink soy chocolate milk, or search for new apartments, or dream of a life with dancing sugarplum fairies. Either way, I think that I might have been a bit intimidated because this is my 100TH POST!!!! Isn't that a big deal? Should I make this post all cool and flashy?? I don't know.

Anyways. Life is good...I've been checking out local colleges just to see whats up for my future. Looking into photography school for the summer. Looking/lusting after the beautiful expensive Canon digital SLR that I want....come' on God!

I've been really content lately. With God, with my friends, with my family. I am however feeling a bit restless/excited for whatever it is that I am going to do next.

Anyways, I actually have a lot to do today but I will try and write more tomorrow.

Love you, and thanks for understanding my absence.

Lyrics to my favorite new song.

2007-02-27T22:45:00.000-08:00

I like flying, flying kites.
Flying kites, flying kites.
Kites are fun.

See my kite it’s fun,
See my kite, it’s green and white
Laughing in its distant flight
All that’s between us is a little yellow string,
But we like each other more than anything
And we run along together  through the field behind my house
And the little drops of rain caress her face and wash my blouse
And we’d like to be a zillion miles away from everyone
‘Cause Mom and Dad and Uncle Bill don’t realize:
Kites are fun.

The Free Design

What I'm Thinking About.

2007-02-27T22:41:00.000-08:00

Don't live on yesterday's challanges.

If your faith isn't growing, its dying.

Do you agree?

2007-02-26T22:19:00.000-08:00

I am in the van on a very bumpy road writing a blogpost in my Word program. I still need to figure out how to use all the options. We are currently driving through the Rocky Mountains and let me tell you, it is beautiful. Every time I am around a mountain the size of who God is just hits me like a ton of bricks. And they are so gorgeous. I can't imagine living away from them. So far today I saw a minx, deer and mountain sheep. I love seeing wild animals. I've been hoping to spot a bear because I have never encountered one before. But then I realized they are sleeping right now.

My trip was really good. We spoke in churches, at mission's conferences, in youth groups and in homes. I met a colourful array of people. Different backgrounds, different personalities. I grew to know and love my team more. I was taught lessons and the trip - Overall - *Being stranded in freakgina included* was worth it.

It seems weird that I will be back in Vancouver tonight. I have been away a whole month. I'm not quite sure how I feel about being back. Going back to reality. Pay bills. Go to work. Get groceries. Although, I am excited about seeing some friends again.
It's weird to think that I have so many opportunities and options right now about what to do next. I still have no idea what direction to turn, but I know that there will be a change. Maybe a big one.

Either way, no matter what I do, something that has been on my mind a lot lately is this verse. I want to live this, I want to find this.

"Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight reign on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
- James

check it out!

2007-02-18T10:22:00.001-08:00

"IMAGINE spending up to eight hours a day walking to get water — knowing that this water will make you sick. But the alternative is no water at all. This leaves you no time to work to provide for your family. Your kids are often sick and unable to attend school. This is reality for half the population of Africa — 360 million people.

Instead of dwelling on how enormous the need is, let's do something to make a difference.
When you buy this tee shirt, 100% of the purchase price goes into clean water drilling projects in Africa. It's not your imagination — you can make a difference. Together, we can change a continent. We're halfway there."

being bold.

2007-02-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

I'm broke.

I need money. I hate that I need it. I hate that I know I probably won't get it. And I hate that its a stress.

BURST!

2007-02-17T09:36:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get a sudden burst of love for someone? I do. I just sneaks up on me. It overwhelms me. Makes me miss. smile. cry. laugh. sigh. think. wish. It inspires. It lets me know I am still alive. It can happen. It catches you offguard. It can be a stranger, family member, friend, lover....and you get this unforseen pop! burst! bang! And all you can think about is how amazing they are. how unexampled. how dazzling and delightful. You want to celebrate them. Thank them. Love them. Bless them. Serve them. Talk about them.
I've gotten it for the man that makes my yummy sushi. For the woman at the bakery that was just so full of joy when she gave me my oat fudge bar.
I actually find it sad that I don't get these 'bursts' more often. Experiencing them awakens me. Its weird to think that God probably feels the degree of the 'burst' plus some all the time.

Hmmm.

Well if you are wondering. Today I felt a burst for him. and her.
And I want to tell the whole world about it.

cs lewis lovin'

2007-02-16T09:55:00.000-08:00

"All sorts of people are fond of repeating the Christian statement that is 'God is love'. But they seem not to notice that the words 'God is love' have no real meaning unless God contains at least two Persons. Love is something that one person has for anohter person. If God was a single person, then before the world was made, He was not love. Of course, what these people mean when they say that God is love is often something quite different: they really mean 'Love is God'. They really mean that our feelings of love, however and wherever they arise, and whatever results they produce, are to be treated with great respect. Perhaps they are: but that is something quite different from what Christians mean by the statement 'God is love'. They believe that the living, dynamic activity of love has been going on in God forever and has created everything else.

And that, by the way, is perhaps the most important difference between Christianity and all other religions: that in Christianity God is not a static thing - not even a person - but a dynamic, pulsating activity, a life, almost a kind of drama. Almost, if you will not think me irreverent, a kind of dance. "

- from Mere Christianity

"It would seem to be pretty clear that paddling [near the shore] is of little consequence. What matters, what Heaven desires and Hell fears, is precisely that further step, out of our depth, out of our own control."

- from "A Slip of the Tongue" (The Weight of Glory)

on a lighter note.

2007-02-16T08:45:00.000-08:00

I saw the movie

"music and lyrics" *Hugh Grant. Drew Barrymore*

I was trying to get a pic of it to post but for some reason I couldn't take any of the net. Anyways. I really liked it, so will you. go see it.

.my life is stressing me out.

2007-02-15T11:48:00.000-08:00

With all these roadblocks, hopscotch, ups and downs and all arounds.

Looking for the definite. The immaculate.

The right. The light. The way to life.

Will he ever get a chance?

I'm feeling so tired.

Can't you hear her cries? Can't you see his pain?

I would almost believe this is a curse.

Seemin' like everything (again) is taking it's turn for the worse.

I believed You when You said You saw.

When You said You knew it all.

I keep trying to give You this burden.

And sometimes I think its gone. Its finally my turn.

My turn to twirl, skip, laugh and play.

Then I see it happen again. again. Back to the start.

My head. my heart. my back. every part.

Subject once again. Breaking our life like a forcefull tide.

I'm stalled in mid stride.

Stranded part 4

2007-02-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

I hope you all realize that I am not a big negative person. I love road trips, I love God and all the great things He does. I know it isn't always easy. I know that verse that says take up your cross and follow me. I know. Don't worry. I know.

Sometimes I worry that I am always blogging in the "moment" of my emotions. Maybe I should wait for them to pass before I blog. But then. I think that is what makes good writing.
Actually. I think this might be my last apologetic blog about what I write on here. Yeah...something about that feels liberating. I will not apologize for what I feel.

Anyways. I'm still in Regina with Nick. (I'm sorry, but who named this city Regina? The 5 year old kid me in chuckles every time I say it)
The van will hopefully be fixed ohh...this weekend. It will be good to get away.

Nick got me a great book for Valentines day called "i love you when you whine" hhahhaah its so great. Made me chuckle.

Happy Valentines Day people. Group Hug. Kumbaya. Kissy kissy. Hold hands. Skip to your loo.

stranded part 3

2007-02-12T16:09:00.000-08:00

I just read a comment that my pastor left me that said "you should just come home" and ya know. Nothing has ever felt more appealing! haha home in New Brunswick. ahhh yes. beautiful.

Well I have become less synical and have been more open to the fact that God can speak in these situations. I'm not saying He has. I'm just saying I"m more willing to listen.

Anyways. I'm broke from having to pay for all these extra expenses that this broken van has caused. We are staying at this lady's house whom we hadn't met until we showed up at her front door. ah ha ywam style. She's been great though. Even if it is a bit awkward. Hopefully the van will be ready on Thursday but something tells me that won't happen.

Other than that things are ok. I feel a bit useless and wanting to DO something but you can't really DO anything when you are stranded with no car and no money. So I thought this would be a good time to press into God a bit more but... I have been having a difficult time doing "quiet times" lately. I feel like I have scrapped all I can off the surface and in order to get more I need to dig deeper, but I don't know where to start or how that looks for me. I have also been feeling a bit off with the G man lately. The best way I can put it is this. You know when you have a friend, a really great friend whom you love so much, but you had a falling out and all you want to do is call them and just go hang out and have fun but you know that you can't do that. You first need to go and have the confrontation and talk about all the issues and deal with them? Well thats how I feel about God right now. Not that i have these huge issues that are so awful...but its just a bunch of little things that have added up that I dont really know what to do with, and feel just kinda like. "ahh, jeez!" about. hmm i'm doing a really bad job at explaining. maybe thats a good thing. Maybe if I was explaining it well then i'd be embaressed that I wrote about it on the internet. hmmmm.

this seems like a good place to stop.

bye bye bye my little bloggy blogger online journal.

PS

2007-02-10T15:59:00.000-08:00

Now I am officially stranded.
4 of them leave tomorrow. buggers. grumble grumble.
Nick & I are here till the van is fixed...which is hopefully Thursday. Which I guess wouldn't be too bad, its just that i was SOOO LOOKING FORWARD to Calgary. I have about 5 friends there that I havn't seen in years and the idea of seeing them was what was keeping me warm in Winnipeg. And I am beginning to wonder. Who ever actually CHOSES to live in Regina?

and Rob. You are getting it. See example below.

Stranded...

2007-02-10T10:29:00.000-08:00

in Regina.

Stranded in Regina. la la la.

Our van's transmission threw up on the highway and now we are stranded in regina. All 6 in one hotel room. They are telling me to look at it in the way that "maybe God wants us here" but I have come to the point where I don't really want to make everything so stinking spiritual. So we are in Regina. Our transmission is blown. I'm running out of money.
Here's my idea of a good prayer life right now.

"God , here is my list of demands"

"oh, and p.s. i know that You are good"

ohhh road trips.
*sigh

-if anyone tells me that this will become a loving memory i will do something with my fist involing your flesh, or if you tell me that you will pray for patience, i will also do something equally as powerfull-

Check it out!

2007-02-08T17:46:00.000-08:00

www.darfurisdying.com

one of the best educational games I have seen in awhile.

Goodbye Winnipeg...

2007-02-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

I actually feel a little sad to leave. Here is my top 5 favorite things about Winnipeg.

1) Even though it is freezing cold, the sky has always been so clear and blue. It really is beautiful

2) It is a small city, but its cute. Quaint. Friendly. Lots of interesting things happening here.

3) Jamie & Kim. This was my first time I felt like I actually got to be around them and I really liked it. I like them. They are radical. Despite the fact that Jamie abu...oh nevermind...

4) Ellice Cafe. A non-profit cafe & theatre that serves amazing food and really helps out people in the community.

5) Mennonite food.

So tomorrow morning at 6 am we leave for Calgary. I'm excited to go see a few friends there that I havn't seen in awhile. Other than that, I am kinda feeling tired. Stressed out. Fat (road trips always make me feel fat, its lots of food with little exercise) Stressed out. Yeah I am definitely stressed. Mostly personal stuff that, over the past few months, hasn't gotten easier only harder. So it seems that any little thing can make me irritable or tasks that I usually can take on easily leave me whipped out and exhausted.

Anyways. Since I am the first driver tomorrow, I am going to go get my sleep.

Much love to you blogland.

The Difran's

2007-02-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

So last night, our team went to go visit Dave & Heather and their two cute son's Ari & Noah.
They used to be on staff with us at YWAM Vancouver, in fact, Heather single handedly ran the whole office with her talent of multi tasking skills.
They moved just outside of Winnipeg last Spring...so it was really great to be able to spend a bit of time with them again.
She made one of my favorite meals, Taco Soup....mmmmmmm.....Taco soup.
Let me tell you, any parents with twins. I salute you. Dave & Heather work soo hard, I just stand in awe of how great of a team they make. It really is amazing how sefless they are, how devoted they are to their family. And plus, Heather is definitely a hot mum. And the boys are just sooooooo adorable!

Here are a few pictures of my time with them.

This first one is Noah...
And here's Ari!

And Noah, Ari and Heather....aww so cute.

Winnipeg, Winnipeg, Winnipeg

2007-02-04T07:49:00.000-08:00

I probably wouldn't mind Winnipeg as much, if it wasn't MINUS FREAKING 50 outside. JEEEEZZZZZZZ....
Well, as you can tell. Here I am in Winnipeg. Sitting in the YWAM house. Its actually a really nice house, considering it's a YWAM house and all.

Its been good to see my team, hang out with Jamie and Kim Arpin-Ricci (you can check out his blog, emergent voyagers), see old friends, see the adorable little DiFransesco boys and of course, their lovely parents. (click here to see pictures of them)

I also added a new person on my special list of links. Robby Mac. check him out. He used to be a vineyard pastor and is now working full time with YWAM and I think he's pretty cool.

And of course, our whole reason for coming, MisSioNs' FesT...dum dum dum.
Well its been interesting. Someone from another booth lectured us on why saying the word "crap" is so sinful. I guess you can say that us YWAM'ers stick out, we are the only booth with so many young people, and a person with blue hair. I haven't really felt like I've had any big meaningful conversations, more like just the usual "how much does this book cost" or "do you know peggy, she's my mum's sister's cousin's best friend's daughter and she was in YWAM in 1999 in the Philippines."

I always find it interesting to see what other missions groups are up too. I really was inspired by how much Wycliffe Bible Translators do. Man, what an amazing ministry they have!

And then of course, there was Steve Saint. I was sooo excited to hear what he had to say. I just always found his story, and his father's story (Nate Saint) so amazing. SO he spoke last night and it was pretty good. He mostly just talked about the story that we all know, and how that affected him as a little boy and what work he is doing with the tribe now. Pretty cool.
This is his movie and book that he was promoting below. Check it out if you get a chance!

I was wrong!

2007-02-01T05:04:00.000-08:00

I was wrong.

I judged.

I have always judged the Montreal airport. I don't like it. Its boring, expensive and I swore that they took all the grumpiest French people and stuck them in the same building. I used to hate the look that I got from some of them once they realized that I did not speak French...
I always dread coming through this airport...I know I really do sound like I am being a big baby. But I'm just being truthful.

Don't get me wrong, I love the city of Montreal.

The airport...YUCK.

Until. RIGHT NOW. When I discovered....FREE WIRELESS.

Its true. I didn't have to pay. ITS FREE!! YAYYAYAY STICK IT TO THE MAN!

Just so ya know...

2007-01-31T15:33:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I head off to Winnipeg, and then am driving from Winnipeg back to Vancouver. I'll be with a bunch of different people between here and there, travelling in a van. We'll be stopping at lots of different churches promoting...missions & stuff like that.

So since I will be squashed in a van, and hoping our little van ACTUALLY makes it from province to province...I am not too sure how often I'll be able to update my blog. Hang in there, I'll be back in full throttle near the end of February.

I'll be missing you, my little bloggy blog blog blogeronies...kiss kissy kiss

faithful

2007-01-31T09:27:00.000-08:00

faith·ful
–adjective
1 loyal, constant and steadfast
2 strict or thorough in performance of duty
3 reliable, trusted or believed
4 true to ones word, promises, vows etc

Lately I have been thinking a lot about if I am a faithful person or not. Looking at this definition doesn't leave me too convinced. I can't just say that I am not faithful only when it comes directly to my faith and beliefs, because obviously, when you struggle it isn't isolated into just one area of your life. But today, I think I will write more about my faithfulness, or un-faithfulness for that matter, in concerns with my beliefs. Maybe because the other topics are too messy and personal to expose yet.

In my travels throughout Asia, I have seen so many unthinkably devout people, that really worship. They really appear to be faithful to what they perceive is the ultimate truth. I've seen Hindu's, Muslim's & Buddhists all challenge me on so many different levels on my faith.

There are times that I wish I wasn't so "born" into the church. Yes I recognize the blessing of having generations of faith before me. Even Paul talks about this when referring to Timothy. Maybe things were different back then, or maybe its just my situation. I don't know. But I am sometimes not too sure, what this background of faith really gave me. I grew up going to Church and even went to a Christian school for a number of years. I don't remember taking the scriptures and asking the whys. I don't remember any theological discussions for that matter. My only memory of the Bible, was that I was required to memorize a chapter a month or else I would get detention.
You are reading the blog of a person, who at the age of 10 realized that if she wanted to get out of class early, she could pretend she was "slain in the spirit." I can't believe I actually did that.

Obviously, I have grown up a lot since then. And I really am so thankful for having parents, relatives, friends and pastors that sincerely do pray for me, invest in me, show me forgivness and what it really means to live & love.  These are some of the things of growing up in faith that I wouldn't change for the world.
Even over my past few years of being a "missionary", I have learned a great deal. But I am still in a Christian bubble. I know I know, everyone is in some sort of bubble. I'm not even saying that that bubble was bad. God knows, it kept me out of trouble. And I know that most people that have faith have doubts, its part of the package. But I just can't help expressing my frustration. All these questions that I have going through my mind can tend to push me towards being luke-warm. Which I hate, and I know that God hates. So where to go from here? Is there any way to get some solid facts about Christianity without reading the Bible or talking to God? Between all the threads of fake-ness that I have to weave through, where is the real and authentic gospel that I so desperately desire? I want to be a faithful person. I really do, in every aspect of my life. I want to live that definition the best that I can. I don't expect that I will ever "arrive" or that someday my maturity, spiritual devotion or knowledge will make everything come together. I'm not sure anyone can really say they have it all figured out. If they did I probably wouldn't believe them anyways.

I crave more than I have. There is so much information to read, opinions to be heard, theories to understand...it hurts my head.

Ahh, I'm afraid if I write more, I'll talk in circles or not make sense. In fact. I'm not even sure I'm making sense now. Damn you English language.

i would like to say....

2007-01-30T12:15:00.000-08:00

- i really don't like being cold.
- New Brunswick is really really cold.
- i have expensive taste on a missionary budget. damn.
- i have never been down south on a vacation. where it is warm. and i really want to swim up to a bar...
- i wish i didn't live so far away from family.
- why has no one ever written a book about "how cold, cold feet are" in reference to marriage?
- i have officially become an internet "lurker" due to blogs, myspace and other such websites.
- i have a new passion for knowledge. someone! give me something good to read!
- sometimes i say to much. and regret it later.
- i really love making lists.
- i love getting the "word of the day" from dictionary.com
- i think showers are over-rated.
- i wish there were churches that exist today, that would look a lot like the ones that paul went too.
- i wonder if anyone in heaven break-dances. that would be cool.

thats all for now. thanks for reading my little blog.

my sister is so great.

2007-01-29T16:18:00.000-08:00

I love her.
Sooo much. When I am with her I just feel so rich to be able to be a part of her life. She is such a beautiful, talented little lady and I anticipate so many more years of great friendship. But for the meantime, I will beat off any boys that come her way.

Time warp!

2007-01-28T06:29:00.000-08:00

So last night I went out with a few friends and drank a few beer. (I went with moosehead just because I am in the John) and it was a fun time dancing and laughing and bumping into old friends. Then I bumped into someone, who was also drinking the beer of my choice for that night, (place moosehead advertising here) and I look up and who else is it but my high school teacher. I look around and realize I'm surrounded. They are everywhere! I counted at least 5 of them. I know I know, they are people too. But it is so weird, the night you realize that your high school teachers and you can hang out in the same place. I didn't know whether to avoid them (mostly because uhh,,,I might have failed most of their classes) or say hi. But...before I knew it one of them is doing the dosey - do with me on the dance floor.

weeeiiirrrrddddddd

the game.

2007-01-25T11:09:00.000-08:00

In the words of my friend Wade...

It is a hilarious, satirical Sim-esque video game where you control an evil international fast food corporation where you bulldoze rain forests, plant genetically modified soy, pump hormones into cattle before slaughter, fire minimum wage employees, and bribe environmentalists and nutritionists.
I can't believe that these guys haven't been sued into the next millenium yet. You have got to try this game. Download and play it before The Man says you can't. The game is a free download and you can get it here. If you want a deeper look into the freaky anti-McDonald's anarchist underground check it out here.

Fun Facts About the End of the World.

2007-01-25T10:55:00.000-08:00

Whether it’s two billion years from now, when the Sun will no longer provide enough heat to support life on earth, or two hours from now in a nuclear holocaust, life on earth will inevitably come to an end. All religious traditions grapple [wiki] with this fact. Here’s what they’ve come up with so far.

Christianity

Things Get Bad: At least according to the Book of Revelation, things will be very bad indeed. Weeping, gnashing of teeth, rending of garments, blood in the streets, etc. All of this will occur during "the Tribulation [wiki]."

And Then: the Second Coming of Christ, wherein Christ - to quote the Nicene Creed - "comes again in glory to judge the living and the dead."

Until: the Rapture [wiki], wherein all Christians (or at least good ones, depending on your particular denomination) are moved from earth directly to heaven with no dying or passing Go.

Islam

Things Get Bad: The Last Judgment in Islam is known as the Qiyamah [wiki]. At a time of God’s choosing - no one knows when - Jesus (yes, that Jesus) will come down from heaven, end all wars, and kill ad-Dajjal [wiki] (Islam’s equivalent to an Antichrist).

And Then: Each and every person who ever lived will be bodily resurrected and judged by God. Those found wanting will be sent to hell either temporarily or permanently; those who have been good and faithful go to heaven.

Until: No, that’s it, actually. For the record, most Muslims do believe that some "People of the Book," that is, Christians and Jews, will also get to heaven.

Judaism

Things Get Bad: The end of days [wiki], or acharit hayamim, will be marked by conflict and tumult. When? Well, the Talmud states that the world will only last 6,000 years - so many Orthodox Jews believe the world as we’ve always known it will end in 2240 CE.

And Then: All of Israel’s enemies will be defeated, the twice-destroyed Temple will be rebuilt [wiki], the dead will be resurrected, and the Jewish Messiah will become King of Israel.

Until: God intervenes in the Battle of Armageddon, saving the Jews, evil leaves the world, and earth becomes perfect. It’s like Belinda Carlisle song: "They say in heaven love comes first/We’ll make heaven a place on earth."

Buddhism

Things Get Bad: According to the Buddhist holy scripture, the Tipitaka, we’ll know the end of the world is coming when morality disappears and people start following the "10 Amoral Concepts." Those concepts? Theft, violence, murder, lying, evil speaking, adultery, idle talk, covetousness, greed, and perverted lust. Um, uh-oh.

And Then: Once morality disappears, things will degenerate into misery.

Until: A Buddha named Maitreya (known in English as the "future Buddha"), the successor to the Buddha we all know, will arrive on earth and begin teaching the pure Dharma.

Hinduism

Things Get Bad: Most Hindus believe that we are currently living in Kali Yuga [wiki], the Iron Age, or age of darkness. Unfortunately for us, that means that evil is on the upswing. Eventually, Vishnu will become incarnate for the 10th and final time. By then, karma will have been completely turned on its head, with good people suffering needlessly and the evil rising to ranks of power.

And Then: Shiva [wiki], "the Destroyer," will dissolve the evil and corrupt universe. And then, because all things are cyclical, the universe will simultaneously be reborn.

Until: We start getting evil again and get ourselves into another age of darkness. Most Hindus are careful not to put an exact time frame on eschatological matters. If you do, you can end up looking awfully foolish …

taken from reddit.com

My sky is falling

2007-01-25T07:09:00.000-08:00

Wow.

I really have been feeling lately like my sky is falling. Like all the sudden I have all these huge decisions to make that really affect me, and the rest of my life. I am much happier just deciding what I want to eat for breakfast. (today is was fruit and chai tea)
I just can't seem to be able to focus on anything. Like, the second I feel like I get some headway, another piece of sky comes calling down and hits me on the head.
Under Pressure.
i think i might crack
It makes it so much harder because I'm beginning to feel like there is some sort of stop watch going of, and I have to prove something, mature, jump over some hoops and not screw up before it goes off or I just may loose something (or someone) that is of unspeakable value.

Where is this peace that surpasses all understanding?

Mac Beautiful

2007-01-23T20:16:00.001-08:00

I found this off my pastor's site and just had to post.
For serious Mac lovers only...

i'm cold.

2007-01-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

I don't remember the last time I was this cold.

Last night when I arrived in Saint John, it was about -27 or something like that.

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold

sisterhood.

2007-01-14T15:43:00.000-08:00

Let me introduce you to Jenna...
as you can see, I love her very much. So much so, that I kissed her on the cheek for all the cyber world to see.
Ahh do you ever spend time with an old friend and then think to yourself...why have I not done this more often over the years?! Thats how I felt after spending yesterday and today with this beautiful lady. We met in 2003 when we did our DTS together in Los Angeles. We have actually been living only 45 minutes away from each other for the past 3 years, but my YWAM life and her being a student at Trinity has kept us busy.
Last night, we ate great food, and talked. Talked as only sisters could talk. I went to bed with a smile from ear to ear on my face. She is sooo good at pushing people towards God. She gets so excited hearing about how you are, and encouraging the giftings within you. This semester she finishes up her nursing degree then heads overseas to be a full time missionary in Asia. I am so proud of her, so happy to know her, so blessed to be her friend, so excited to hear her stories, and so glad that we FINALLY met up and got to spend wonderful hours together laughing and sharing. I think that is what heaven will really be like.
I can't wait to talk to Peter, Hezekiah and Esther. It will be sooo fun. Yay! I just feel so happy today!

I even had a great day at church! weird! I visited North Langley Vineyard...and I really got a lot out of it. We did a "spiritual inventory" and it was a great way to reflect on how you think you are doing and listening to the things that you could practically work on. A good way to start off the year. I really have a huge expectancy and hope for this year, something I don't remember feeling at the beginning of a year in a long time. I wonder what will happen. I am just so excited to find out...

Saturday Mornings...

2007-01-13T09:52:00.000-08:00

I really do love saturday mornings. There is something great about the times I am able to lay in bed, read, blog, think, pray...whatever. With no immediate agenda. I was just thinking how I wished blogger had a "listening to" section so that I could tell you right now, that I am listening to "inside out" by hillsong. It's a little POP'ey but i like it. if you don't know it check it out. It reminds me so much of my trip to China...sigh.smile.

See, saturday mornings are even good for reminising.
And it even makes it better when you had a great friday night like i did, spending time with someone great...eating good food, having great conversation, and ice skating.
Life, i love when you slows down like this and so I can just seem to extract all the colour, smell, and touch out of every moment. I am so glad I am alive.

brilliant.

loved this.

2007-01-11T22:44:00.000-08:00

“The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in.”

C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity

as you can see lately, CS is really inspiring me. He takes the thoughts in my head and puts them into words that I could never muster so poetically.

lick it.

2007-01-11T21:46:00.000-08:00

fold it. post it. lick it. tuck it. wrap it. stuff it.

That is what I did tonight. I stuffed tons of envelopes FULL of tax receipts that we will be sending out too all the people that supported Canadian missionaries this past year.
Let me tell you, doing this really encouraged me. There has been many time where i felt frustrated because I thought 'no one was giving to missions'....or actually I'll be honest...not just missions...but young individual missionaries such as myself.
But after helping to stuff over 3,000 envelopes, all for people that generously give and believe in the people that they are supporting...I was just like.

wow. what an amazing partnership

Its so beautiful. They give so that we can give. And we all gain. And the kingdom grows. I guess it is true that in giving, we truly receive.

Tonight made me think of where I was a few years ago, and it's definitely not the first time I realized this, but it hit me in a new way tonight. I am so blessed. God has provided for me so many times through so many fabulous individuals. I don't know, if I will ever really be able to tell them, just how much their generosity blesses me. I hope they will be able to see it someday, when they watch the movie of their life.

scary

2007-01-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

Last night, my isight camera stopped working in my oh-so-loved macbook. Let me tell you, I was never one to debate Mac's vs PC's but since switching. I have found the light, so you can see why I was soo sad that one of my favorite features stopped working. That little camera leaves me with hours of giggles. So I went to my trusty friend leigh to help, and he did, but this morning, it stopped working again. NOO!! I only got this macbook a few weeks ago, I didn't want to send it to the shop yet.
So i called mr. macman. (i love you macman!) and he walked me through everything and helped me fix it over the phone.
I HEART APPLE.

So now I can breathe easier. phew.

This photo is a represtentation to what I would do if someone ever took my beloved macbook.

Confessions

2007-01-10T11:20:00.000-08:00

I embarrassingly spend more time getting ready in the mornings than I do on my quiet time.
I havn’t prayed, what is on my heart, in way to long.
The amount of people that I owe emails, letters and phone calls it is overwhelming.
I am a missionary currently residing in Vancouver, but the amount of non-believers that I am in relationship with regularly is embarrasingly small.
I weirdly always feel like I have to prove myself, then in my fashion, I rebel against that and don't do anything. Here starts the cycle.
Sometimes I am so thickheaded, that in order for me to learn a lesson, I may as well switch my name name to Jonah.
Sometimes, my faith is only held together by the beautiful, intricate, colours and designs that He displays before me everyday.
I suck at going to church.
Peter is the one guy in the Bible that gives me hope. We are one in the same. We have both denied Christ, more than once.
I am weak in discipline.
Sometimes I ever wonder, if I will stop apologizing for the same things over and over to God.
I often wonder why I am so good at hearing words from the Lord for others, but when it comes to hearing for myself. I suck.
I am so desperate for Change. Clarity. Revelation.

this is creepy.

2007-01-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

Birds fall from sky over town

By Amanda O'Brien

Article from:

THOUSANDS of birds have fallen from the skies over Esperance and no one knows why.

Is it an illness, toxins or a natural phenomenon? A string of autopsies in Perth have shed no light on the mystery. All the residents of flood-devastated Esperance know is that their "dawn chorus" of singing birds is missing.
The main casualties are wattle birds, yellow-throated miners, new holland honeyeaters and singing honeyeaters, although some dead crows, hawks and pigeons have also been found.

Wildlife officers are baffled by the "catastrophic" event, which the Department of Environment and Conservation said began well before last week's freak storm.

On Monday, Esperance, 725km southeast of Perth, was declared a natural disaster zone.
District nature conservation co-ordinator Mike Fitzgerald said the first reports of birds dropping dead in people's yards came in three weeks ago. More than 500 deaths had since been notified. But the calls stopped suddenly last week, reportedly because no birds were left.

"It's very substantial. We estimate several thousand birds are dead, although we don't have a clear number because of the large areas of bushland," Mr Fitzgerald said.

Birds Australia, the nation's main bird conservation group, said it had not heard of a similar occurrence. "Not on that scale, and all at the same time, and also the fact that it's several different species," chief executive Graeme Hamilton said. "You'd have to call that a most unusual event and one that we'd all have to be concerned about."

He expected birds would return to the area once the problem - natural or man-made phenomenon - was fixed but said it was vital the cause was identified.
The Department of Agriculture and Food, which conducted the autopsies, has almost ruled out an infectious process.
Acting chief veterinary officer Fiona Sunderman said toxins were the most likely cause but the deaths could be due to anything from toxic algae to chemicals and pesticides.

Dr Sunderman said there were no leads yet on which of potentially hundreds of toxins might be responsible. Some birds were seen convulsing as they died.
Michelle Crisp was one of the first to contact the DEC after finding dozens of dead birds on her property one morning.
She told The Australian she normally had hundreds of birds in her yard, but that she and a neighbour counted 80 dead birds in one day.

"It went to the point where we had nothing, not a bird," she said. "It was like a moonscape, just horrible. But the frightening thing for us, we didn't find any more birds after that. We literally didn't have any birds left to die."

A Good Time Was Had By All.

2007-01-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

"By the goodness of God we mean nowadays almost exclusively His lovingness; and in this we may be right. And by Love, in this context, most of us mean kindness - the desire to see others than the self happy; not happy in this way or in that, but just happy. What would really satisfy us would be a God who said of anything we happened to like doing, 'What does it matter so long as they are contented?' We want , in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grand father in heaven - a senile benevolence who, as they say, 'liked to see young people enjoying themselves', and whose plan for the universe was simply that is might be truly said at the end of each day, 'a good time was had by all'. Not many people, I admit, would formulate a theology in precisely those terms: but a conception not very different lurks at the back of many minds. I do not claim to be an exception: I should very much like to live in a universe which was governed on such lines. But since it is abundantly clear that I don't, and since I have reason to believe, nevertheless, that God is Love, I conclude that my conception of love needs correction."

CS LEWIS

I couldn't have said this better. that is all.

i took a picture.

2007-01-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

Damned Nonsense

2007-01-07T12:18:00.000-08:00

"If you do not take the distinction between good and bad very seriously, then it is easy to say that anything you find in this world is a part of God. But, of course, if you think some things really bad, and God really good, then you cannot talk like that. You must believe that God is separate from the world and that some of the things we see in it are contraray to His will. Confronted with a cancer or a slum the Pantheist can say, 'If you could only see it from the divine point of view, you would realise that this also is God.' The Christian replies, 'Don't talk damned nonsense.' For Christianity is a fighting religion. It thinks God made the world-that space and time, heat an cold, and all the colours and tastes, and all the animals and vegetables, are things that God 'made up our of His head' as a man makes up a story. But it also thinks that a great many things have gone wrong with the world that God made and that God insists, and insists very loudly, on our putting them right again."
- from Mere Christianity, C.S.LEWIS

Hannah's Top 6 movies of 2006

2007-01-05T17:20:00.000-08:00

X-Men - The last stand.
I had a hard time choosing between this one and Jackass 2.
I picked this one because I loved the previous two and and I mean, come on, it's X-Men!
I really loved this movie, even though I thought it was a bit of a disappointment at first. When i look back, it was definitely one of my top six.

Talladega Nights
Ok so I know this movie may be just another "Will Ferrell" movie...but seriously, I just love that guy. His humour is usually obscene and awful, but it speaks to me and makes me pee myself in laughter. I'm almost shy to admit that I have seen this movie 5 times! eek!

V FOR VENDETTA
This movie made me want to stick it to the man, blow up the government and take back the land! Boycott! Buy pirated DVDs! Debate! Riot! Ahh...this was definitely a masterpiece. "God is in the rain"

Little Miss Sunshine.
love it. heart it. mean it. This movie was so creative, colourful and fun. Totally a must see, if you are ok with it not really making much sense. I love the little girl in this movie. She is my new all star.

The Last Kiss
I am still not quite sure why I liked this movie so much. I think it basically all boils down to two things 1) I love Zach Braff and 2) He slept on her porch for nights to prove his love...sigh...

The Holiday
I just recently saw this movie and I had to put it in here, because it made me laugh and cry...and there is the cutest old man in it. I love old people. Cameron Diaz looks beautiful in this movie and Jack Black does well playing a normal person for once. This is definitely a chick flick.

8 pounds

2007-01-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

Well its 2007 and so far to show for it i have a few extra pounds. I wish i was talking about the English currency. But I'm not. I'm talking about the Crofton house baking extravaganza that happened, the huge turkey, the wine, the chocolate, chips, stuffing, salads, korean bbq's, cheese fondues, chocolate fondues...all that ended up in my oh so full tummy before i even had a chance to understand what was going on!
Ohh it was a yummy yummy holiday.
There is nothing like wearing pajama pants all day long!

Happy New Year everyone, good luck with those resolutions!

ATTENTION!!

2006-12-26T23:47:00.000-08:00

Just wanted everyone to know that one of my all time favorite DJ's and cooks, Mr P. Wade Pallister has officially started his own cooking blog (trust me, this guy has his credentials!)

Along with having an uber cute daughter, super cool wife and admirably long dreads...he has a way of making cooking fun and simple.

If his hot sauce collection is anything to go by, I think you would do good stopping by there once in awhile! So go on!! Get outta here! And go to Wade's Cooking Blog! www.diygourmet.blogspot.com (also found on my list of links)

Merry Christmukkah!!!

2006-12-22T11:14:00.000-08:00

2006-12-19T17:58:00.001-08:00

"Something I’ve learned about myself, and human nature in general, is that the better angels of our nature have corresponding demons. We have a dark side. I don’t think our virtues eliminate our faults. Our flesh, although put to death, still struggles for prominence. Our task is to notice this but not submit to it. We allow the good fruit of our lives to grow in the crappy culture of our darker selves."

I'm really thinking about this.

Like when it comes to the gospel, I tend to live, speak and do the more "grace" aspect of things rather than the "law" part. Not because I have no moral standards or because I want to be lawless, but I struggle with judgement of myself and of others. My thoughts can learn towards being legalistic.

interesting.

I love my parents

2006-12-18T19:48:00.000-08:00

I love my parents for a lot of reasons...they are true champions of this world. Survivors, fighters, lovers and friends. They are loyal, committed, humble, hard working and good teachers.

I really miss them alot, all the time.

For Christmas this year, they really out did themselves. I got my very own MacBook. So exciting! I've been having fun figuring out how things work and being able to check my email whenever I want! It also has that built in I-Sight camera...here are a few funny pictures I took with it of Nick and I!

Perseverance

2006-12-06T11:56:00.000-08:00

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. ~Author Unknown

Lately I have been thinking a lot about what I do. what I believe.
Don't freak out, I'm ok!

But I really am starting to realize that the road of salvation is thin, and not always easy. Lots of sacrifice. Lots of faith.

Fall seven times, stand up eight. ~Japanese Proverb

There are lots for time I just dont want to do it anymore. Sometimes it feels like those unbelievably special times with God are few and far between. Sometimes I dont trust that I really heard His voice.
It makes me think of that verse that talks about it is better to be hot or cold, and that luke warm is the worst. Well I don't want to be luke warm, and I know that I could never live my life cold.
I guess its all the stuff that He does in the background that I don't see, which makes my life what it is. But I want to see. I want Him to like hit me with a lighting bolt or something.

I've been reading through the Chronicles of Narnia lately and these books are speaking to me in a way that I haven't been spoken too before. I wish I was Lucy and that i could run up to Aslan and let my face be enveloped with His mane. I want to sail to the ends of the earth and drink the sweet ocean water that makes it so I do not need food or drink, and that I can stare into the light. I want him to strip the dragon scales off my body, even if it is painful, and throw me into the coolest, calmest most refreshing pool of water you have ever seen.

Dear Santa

2006-12-06T11:46:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of things I want for christmas, but I guess the best way to cover them all is to give me this:

I promise I'll share.

surfing.

2006-11-30T14:47:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been finding myself going to the same ol websites every time i come online. gmail. blogger. hotmail. the end. So I've been trying to find new ways to entertain myself, as I am sure, in this vastness of the internet, there are some super great and totally worth it websites that demand my attention.
and then i started amusing myself by going from blog to blog, and going through people's choice links. Hmm it is pretty interesting. Here is what I found:

This is a wedding dress made out of cream puffs!
1,500 to be exact and weighing in at 20 pounds.
phew!

I guess her husband is the bake. but i thought it was bad luck for the guy to see the dress first, let alone make it? Those crazy Ukrainians.

well..thats all i will share for now...till next time!!

xoxo
H